6-17-2026 Diana's letter

 Hi there Roxanne,

I hope you’re hanging in there and that your preparations for your trip are going as well as possible. I’ve been thinking of you and your family.

Following our session on Monday, I spent a lot of time processing where we are. I truly value your expertise and the environment you’ve built, which is why I’m reaching out. I want to be direct so we can decide how to best use our time together.

I’m struggling to reconcile two things. 

• Back in May, we discussed whether Mia could be helped, and the outlook was that she was 2, but 2 is still flexible enough that Mia could be a “work in progress” and we could improve. After Monday, the takeaway felt very much like she is a hopeless case - and that, because she’s two, her patterns are fixed and any improvement is likely minimal. I’m certainly not under any illusions: I know Mia is a “heavy lift.” I also don’t expect a year of free or low-intensity sessions beyond what I've paid for, and I don’t expect her to progress like a standard dog. I realize she will always be a high-maintenance dog. Constant vigilance is not quite the same as being on high and constant alert, however.  I think that by addressing her gut health (she has constant diarrhea, for example, and anyone who researches gut health in humans must also assume this could likely - and does likely - apply to all mammals and brain/nervous health function) we can give her just one little assist up - for starters.  Over time, removal from the pack mentality and running with her litter mate should make a bit of a difference as well.  These aren't fix-alls.  But they should help - over time.  
• Her ability to learn is there.  She makes slow-going progress in being out and about when she isn’t flooded.  
• When she does get a win - like walking through the middle of the trainers without a lunge - and she did that without even lowering her head to rush at least once or twice (which is ridiculously deficient of thresholds we're endeavoring to meet, and I get that) - yet in a dog like Mia's case, it feels like we should be rewarding that with a neutral, calm response to let her decompress.  Instead, the pressure just kept mounting. It felt like a failed course exam for me and for Mia, rather than a training session, and I’m concerned that pushing her to that 110% threshold before she’s ready is only going to make her regress beyond any repair.  We want her to succeed.  
• Is it possible for her to have some measure of success in being around other people and animals in a way that would be meaningful for my family?  After speaking with my husband and kids, we all agree "yes," with consistency and under trainer expertise.  When I've described our two sessions, they are all floored with Mia's behavior.  We also didn't understand the increasing of intensity, when Mia had failed even the basic markers.  I wonder if just one trainer - for several weeks - no fence shaking, no dogs, etc. - is a way that's possible for us to proceed with - and will still be helpful in moving forward?    

Is there a way for us to shift timing and intensity for the remaining sessions? I want to build her baseline and work on her stability within the Koehler Method through making good decisions, as we're holding her accountable via the training stipulations. If that’s a “win-win” for both of us - where I’m not taking advantage of your time and we’re actually getting somewhere - let’s do it.

However, if you honestly believe we can't pull back on the session intensity and that Mia is truly “past the point,” then we have a fundamental mismatch. If we aren’t compatible on this, let's talk about what a refund looks like per your policies (after 2nd session, before 3rd), so I can pivot to a different long-term strategy for her.  I am not afraid of killing her, if that's what we need to do to protect ourselves and those around us, as well as (ironically) her.  I am definitely not willing to do that, however, without giving her a best shot and my best effort first.  I think that she can make reasonable progress per our discussion at the end of our last session, by end of summer - reasonable progress for a dog like her anyway.  I'm not expecting miracles. 

Again, I respect your expertise and your great community and want to make this work if it's possible to reduce session intensity per Mia's growing abilities, while maintaining your standards and schedule availability, etc.  Not sure how all that would look or work - or if it can - just covering all my bases. 

Best,

Diana